Engulfed in Flames

 

Engulfed in Fire

 

In the early 1990’s I knew something was wrong inside-too much negative feeling for the current environment. Just after starting counseling/therapy, I had my first dream from God that I remember now. It was 15 years later that I could hear an interpretation clearly:

 

I stood in the upper story of my own house in my own village, a tiny suburban community that was really just a post-WWII suburban development. I was completely alone. Suddenly a spontaneous fire burst onto the town, completely engulfing every house in a transparent orange flame. I panicked and sought deliverance but had not hope in normal terms.

 

Yet I tried to save myself. I ran to the stairwell and started down. I wondered that the flames seemed to be there but I was unscorched? I ran to the door, expecting death at the opening, but still I ran, terrified. Terror was my feeling, but somehow hope pushed me out that door.

 

I ran to the back of the house and off into a clearing behind it. I could see the reflection of flames so bright they made the forest seem like fire without smoke also. The reflection caught my attention, as the forest was a bit different from the large urban greenbelt surrounding my town in real life. This forest was virgin timber, tall and unexploited. It was wilderness.

 

As I made the clearing, there stood my older brother, passive and staring at the fire as if mesmerized. I hugged him. He was the only other person in the scene. He was a huge comfort to me as a child and is close now, but he barely showed life-statuesque and paralyzed almost, not even lifting his arms.

 

I felt something extraordinary about it all: surviving a fire, being isolated and alone, in an impossible place and an unresponsive sibling facing the fire, my facing the wilderness.

Dream Ends

 

Comments: I first felt this dream’s genesis sprang from opening up my heart to speak about disturbing things never before discussed by me with others (and avoided often with myself 🙂 In other words I  felt it was residual fear from my past. I was terrified in the dream, but amazed, too. Now remembering it, I am just amazed-the fear has healed. 

 

About 15 years past the time I dreamed this, an unforgettable experience from the fear I felt in it, I received a surprise from God. In the quiet of early morning, I felt the inner voice of Him say, “Do you want to know what that dream meant?” Just like that. I just said, “Yes,” even though because of years of not giving any consideration to dreams, or “visions” (communication from God with pictures) I had a hint of “I must be making this up” wanting to stand in to protect myself.

 

The Lord just took me to a passage about “Cities of Refuge.” In fact, he took me to a commentary on the subject also. I learned. Knowing already that God directed the Israelites to build six cities: three east of the Jordan and three west, more or less equidistant, I wondered at the reason given.

 

God explained to the people that He hates it when innocent people are killed, but even more when the accidental killing of innocent people triggers more killing of more innocent people. So, He asked them to build refuge cities. When someone accidentally killed someone else, the instructions were: flee immediately to a city of refuge. Why?

 

In the East at that time, and in much of the world even today, still, the concept of bloodguilt and family justice prevailed. A person was assigned in each family to assure proper inheritance (money/position) for each individual. Boaz, an example of this in the Book of Ruth, was Ruth’s assigned protector- a “kinsman redeemer.”

 

Often, in fact usually, the family would also assign this person or someone to avenge the loss of life to a family. Anger often came first, and with it thoughts of revenge, when someone in the family died. Money might redeem loss of life, but usually people had high life risk. Accidents happen daily. Yet usually a person who ran over another, for instance, would be judged by the family or not get a fair trial or hearing in their own town. The emotion of the moment, the desire for family justice flowed to death. People would be stoned or just murdered in the name of justice.

 

God hates that as a gross injustice, so he set aside the City of Refuge. A person in Israel was instructed to run to the closest Refuge City, if an accidental death occurred and they were involved to possible vengeance, then offer their story to the city elders who sat at the gates as judges. If given refuge, this person could remain living there in that C.O.R. until a trial took place there, or until the current high priest in Jerusalem died. Then the person was protected-their life was redeemed by refuge and fair trial or by permanent forgiveness.

 I diverged, but to explain the interpretation God gave me of my dream:

 

 The “wilderness” in the dream was my heading to build cities of refuge. My “brother” in the dream represented a “kinsman redeemer” appointed to give me my proper inheritance and also as a sign of the reason for the cities.

 

 I saw the “fire” was the cleansing fire of God; a work of God He did in my life and in America where I live. I had life threatening injuries to my heart that needed healing early in life, and barely escaped the “fire” of healing. I felt and was alone in this at times, yet I escaped the powerfully negative emotions that surrounded my heart like a spider’s web.

 

He removed toxic shame, terror and anger from my heart. I thought it would kill  me-the pain as it surfaced surprised me. I will post later more about this. 

 

 God was telling me in this dream, and now years later in the quiet of the day, that my calling was to build refuge communities for people. He even told me as I wrote the thoughts presented by the Spirit of God, that some of the communities would be invisible networks (like online social networks, for instance) and others would be real physical cities.

 

 Today, many people face the same fate of death. I read that it is not uncommon in the Mid-East still, for instance, to see someone gunned down in the streets by a “kinsman redeemer”, a man seeking justice for a dead relative. My actual brother did missionary work with outliers in the jungle in Melanesia. A similar form of justice prevails there. Money or blood is required when anyone dies for any reason. Someone has to pay.

 

I have not fully discovered the meaning of this dream, but I hear so many people say, “Follow your dreams!” I did not know that I would someday literally follow an actual “dream”! The “wilderness” in this dream relates to the wilderness in the preceding dreams-it represents unused fertile space for building community. Join me. Let’s build safe and vital communities.